I am someone who is very afraid to ask for things. I have been the kind of person who puts everyone’s needs above my own. A people pleaser, if you may. I have been working on this, and therapy has helped a lot.
I believe this goes back to my childhood when I used to seek validation and comfort from my parents. Somewhere along the way, I started neglecting my own needs and what I needed. I believe it’s also because I had always heard that people who take up space are bad people. People who are too bold are the villains, and also the fact that the people are supposed to be accommodating— they should care for others and provide for others, and those are the ideal people.
As I am writing this, I think it was a generational trauma because my mother, her mother, and everyone else didn’t put their needs first. They always served their families. They never had a life outside of their family. I believe they didn’t even know themselves much. It was hard for me to grow out of it, especially when people like that surrounded me.
Coming back to the point, my friend gave me this advice when I was doubting myself over setting prices for my clients. I said that there’s no way I can charge this. I gave a million reasons why I don’t deserve to be paid more. Turns out that I was only looking at my side of the situation and not at how much time and resources I am saving for my clients by helping them. If I do my job well, they save on a lot of things.
That’s when I charged what I felt like charging. It somehow worked, and the client was happy with the price (and my work). I was like This is amazing. If I hadn’t said this price, I might have left the money on the table.
This is when I made this my mantra. I would ask for things because not everyone will ask. I also added the fact that I have to be extremely kind and compassionate while doing so. This wasn’t hard because I believe I am naturally sympathetic.
I also reminded myself about the fact that the worst that could happen is that I would die. And then nothing would matter because I am dead. I know. I am a bit extreme like that. Trust me, you don’t know how much confidence that gives me to do things.
So that was it. I asked for things that no one did. If you use this correctly, then it certainly feels like a cheat code to life. Cause you might get things that you never thought about.
Recently, I told my other friend about this “hack,” and she used it for something. And you know what happened? +2000 aura points for guessing.
It worked.
So I realized that when we are really grateful for things and ask for stuff in a very kind and compassionate manner, who knows, the universe might just give you stuff.
Sometimes, all you gotta do is ask. I know you might get scared or think about what the other person would think. But don’t worry cause the worst thing that could happen is that you die, and then nothing would matter cause you’re dead.
<3
P.S. I wanted this to be a personal post about how asking for things can help you, but who knew this would turn out to be a motivational post lol